personal

Easter

First things first, Lucy will only wear pink. That may or may not be obvious further on.

Easter was a big deal this year. For the first time since, well forever, I took the Saturday off. Ever since Lucy was born, I have been meaning too, and then I would forget. Now that she is old enough to enjoy holidays, I wanted to make sure to do something special with her. And so the idea of a neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt was born. I joined forces with my friends Maren and Leslee, and we threw a party for the whole neighborhood. It was so much fun, and I think super successful for a first go around. We made a block party of it at Maren's house, which she decorated beautifully, and her trees bloomed accommodatingly. We divided up the kids into age groups, hid a few special golden eggs in tricky places, blew a train whistle (why not?) and let the kids go at it. It was really so much fun, and nice to get to the know the neighborhood a little bit better.

I brought one roll of film, and unfortunately got so excited, I only took pictures of the set-up, Lucy, and her good friend Olive. But I think we probably had 60 people there. It was pretty awesome watching 30 or so kids run around like crazy, or like Lucy, cautiously picking up her eggs. Easter Egg hunting was followed by brunch, and the only boo, was to the two cars that drove through our barricades, going faster than the speed limit, knocking over garbage cans, and pulling our decorations along with them. Luckily, there weren't any kiddies, in the street, but seriously, who does that?

And here is Lucy in pink dress #2, and our own Easter Egg hunt after church. We dyed eggs the night before, but mainly Lucy just wanted to drink the dye water. We put a Tablespoon of oil in our dye cups to get the marble effect, which, come to think of it, couldn't have made it taste that good. I had pinned probably 20 different Easter Egg ideas, but ultimately went with the easiest and cheapest. I think they turned out pretty. Can you guess which color of egg was Lucy's favorite?

By the way, if you are ever interested in doing your own hunt like this, this is what we did and it worked well,

-We hand delivered the invitations. Luckily, our neighborhood is small enough, and we got them out early enough that people could plan on it, but not so early they forgot about it. About 10 days before the hunt -We had the parents bring a dozen eggs a couple days early for each kid that was participating -We limited it to 12 and under -Divide into age groups, so little kids don't get overwhelmed by older ones. We did 0-1, 2-4, 5-8, 8-12 -If you don't have a yard enough big enough (none of us did) get the permits for a block party. It's super easy, and you just need the permission from everyone on the street affected. Check with your local City department for specifics -We requested everyone bring a brunch item. I was afraid people were going to think we asked too much of them, but everyone came with smiles, and there was even someone doing a dutch oven casserole. Impressive. -We came 90 minutes early to set-up and hide the eggs -The rules were 12 eggs per kid, but we had extras (a lot people did more than a dozen eggs each), so we opened it up for a free for all after everyone got their dozen. But, we didn't realize at the time, that there were a few kids who were running late, and there were no eggs left. Next time we will make sure all kids are there before we open it up to everyone to go crazy. And maybe also still keep them in their eggs groups, since at that point the little kids were pretty much out of luck. First timers mistake. -Get bigger blockades, since some people by-passed the sign, and barriers. I wish I knew who you were! -Blow horn, that would have been fun, but luckily Leslee just happened to have a train whistle!

We made a tent and then we told stories

Lucy tells the best stories. They start and end the same every time and they go something like this,

Once upon a time, Mommy, Daddy, Lucy, and Ollie, good boy! Sammy, Olive, Andrew. Dancing. The End! Do you like the story Mommy? Want another one?

Once upon a time, Bambi, Thumper, rainbow, forest, they hide. The End! Do you like the story Mommy? Want another one?

Baby girl, yes, yes I do want another story. May I never be too busy to not listen to your magical tales, your imagination vocalized. And although I recognize the day may come, will probably come, inevitably comes when I'm not the first person you want to share your world with, may that day be long, long in the future. Because I want to hear about Thumper, and Bambi and Ollie. I want to know about your happiness and sadness, your discoveries and travels. And I want to remember always (always, always, always,) your sweet, lispy, voice, brimming with brightness, asking, "Another one Mommy? Again?"

This one time I made Grape Focaccia

Why make Grape Foccacia you ask? Well, there was a desire to be fancy, black grapes were on sale, I had two competing versions of the same recipe...it was fate, and who am I to argue with that? I'm too lazy to type out the recipe for you, when those who do it better and prettier already have. You can find a variation at Smitten Kitchen and one at Lottie and Doof. I went with Smitten Kitchen because it promised to be easier. Remember when I told you I was lazy?

And seriously, if you are ever in the Foccacia making mood, and happen to have some grapes and thyme (time, ha ha, get it!) on your hands, you should too. A couple things of things I learned; first, I made two rounds, one with halved grapes and one with whole. I liked the halved grapes. I don't know why, they just smooshed up nicer. And second, you can't have too many grapes. I wish I had layered the whole things with grapes, with maybe a few aesthetically pleasing spots peaking through. No! I take that back. No aesthetically pleasing spots, all grapes! There is enough bread underneath to keep you happy. Anyway, all this to say, this experiment was incredibly delicious and satisfying, and I ate more than my fair share.

I should mention that I added an extra Tablespoon of olive oil into the dough and cooked the focaccia on a pizza stone. My own, minor, Lindsey touches, if you will.

Bon Appetit!

Random Friday

Today has been a random day, so why not a random post?

Scott and I needed a little distraction yesterday and treated ourselves to pure movie magic for two hours. The Artist completely mesmerized me and I'm pretty sure I had a goofy smile plastered to my face the entire time. I can't remember being that inspired by a movie since Amelie. I hope it wins big this Sunday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tl7vP3ndik0&feature=fvst

I have been cooking a lot (a lot a lot.) And my current favorite food blog is Sprouted Kitchen. Have you ever heard of it? Because if you haven't, you should head right over and drool. Sara is the food genius behind the blog, and her super talented husband is the photographer. Pretty much a match made in heaven. For a dessert party tonight I'm making this Plum Tart with Mascarpone Cream. Two things I learned: One, I should not have bought those peaches, because they weren't that good. Second, there is such a thing as too much orange zest. I should have listened when the instructions said a bit. I'm the kind of person that makes things for the first time when I'm entertaining or bringing a dish. I like to experiment on friends.

Photo by Hugh Forte/Via Sprouted Kitchen

My hair hasn't really seen a new do in 5 years, so I just picked up this Bumble and Bumble Surf Spray. I'm hoping it will get my hair to look all wavy, and lovely like those ladies I keep pinning on Pinterest. So far, not so much. Maybe I need to pick up a curling iron?

And finally, it was brought to my attention that I never post images of myself. There is a good reason for that. I'm super awkward in photos. But I like this one that Scott took of me and Lucy and so why not share? This is me, sweaty after a bike ride. And that is Lucy's back. Voila!

The Imperfect Mother

Being a mom is hard. It's really annoying when other people tell you that when you are pregnant. But it's true. And a couple of weeks ago Lucy and I were having some rough days. I couldn't get her juice fast enough, I got her the wrong color sippy cup, she wanted to watch Bambi! No, she wanted Tangled! She got into the permanent markers. She scratched the new TV, the one we saved for two years for. I always thought I would be the kind of parent who never lost her temper. Would always be calm, always patient. But the last 3 months have opened my eyes to the reality that two-year-old's have the unique ability of stretching your last nerve to the breaking point. Why is that? On the one hand, they are the sweetest things in the world, wanting to dress just like you, and brush your hair, and sit on your lap, and on the other, they are miniature dictators, that demand all of your time, energy and attention. And when Lucy scratched the TV, I got mad. Not screaming mad, but mad enough to make my little girl cry. I felt awful. Lucy crawled into my lap, crying, "Mommy mad. Lucy naughty," which is about when my heart broke.

Maybe not my finest moment.

And then things turn around and Lucy has been so sweet and playful and silly lately. She continues to skip wherever we walk, and make up stories. I hear her singing in her crib (bumble bee, bumble bee landing on my nose,) and she crawls into bed in the morning with me, and we whisper and giggle. The other day she took her shark finger puppet, had it eat her pasta, and when the pasta got stuck to the felt she said, "No, no shark! This is Lucy bear's food." I don't know why, but that kills me. Or there was the time at church, when she was sitting on Scott's lap, and he asked her where all his hair went? She got very serious, stood up on his lap, looked at his head, and proclaimed, "I found one!" We took a walk up Millcreek canyon yesterday, and she was so proud in her pink snow suit. We threw snowballs, and looked for Bambi, and I told her stories about bunnies and rainbows and snow, while Scott carried her on his shoulders. And when she wanted to walk, her cute little legs would run, "really fast!"

I may not be perfect. But I'm pretty sure Lucy knows that I love her more than anything. I think that counts for a lot, right? And when I walk in the door and she cries, "there's my mommy!" I know she loves me too. And we have had lots of talks since then about not touching the TV or drawing with pen on the couch. Patience. I'm working on it.

Oh, and these photos, just from another walk we took. I'm pretty sure I only bring my camera when we take walks.

lovers day, bits and pieces

Here's a little bit of what our Valentine's looked like. We never made it to the movie (molten cakes take a long time to prep,) and Lucy maybe had a melt-down or two, "no pasta! no pasta! no pasta!" But that is what Valentines at home are all about, right?

These gorgeous flowers were waiting for me when I woke up. I loved them. I LOVE them. And I love Sarah from Honey of a Thousand Flowers, because she is a genius. This is the prettiest arrangement I have ever received.

A few of Scott's favorite things and then a little something special.

See that cute heart? Scott ripped it right in half. Sad.

Lucy was obsessed with "daddy's balloon!" until Scott said it was going to get her. And now she says, "scary balloon."

Knock! Knock! Knock! Who could it be?

Making sure she doesn't leave any candy behind. Who cares about that other present?

And Lucy loved hated her Valentine present. It was so sad. She loves Cinderella, she loves dress-ups. I thought it would be a match made in blue-rayon heaven. But she wouldn't wear it. She wouldn't look at it. She wouldn't touch it. For someone who wasn't even sure if she liked princesses, I was pretty crushed. Oh well, at least we had molten cakes and blueberry ice cream to look forward too. Scott and I make a good team. He made the molten cakes, and I made the ice cream. In fact, he made the molten cakes why I went to the gym between dinner and dessert. Romantic fail on my part, but romantic win on his. This tops as one of the best desserts we have ever made. I ate two, and finished off the ice cream.

And look at this. The next day I put on a dress and Lucy got all excited. We dressed up together and had a dance party.

Look at old she is getting. It makes my heart hurt a little.

This was my favorite Valentine's yet! I love that Lucy is getting old enough to enjoy the holidays with us.

Christmas

A couple of stories.

Lucy was so scared of Santa, that she wouldn't come out to help put the cookies out the night before. She peaked around the corner and cried, "No! No! No!" thinking he was literally in the room, eating up all the cookies. Poor thing. Christmas is a lot to take in.

I had the video camera all set to go and record Lucy's grand entrance into the living room. Fifteen minutes into it, I realized I had turned it on, but not to record. Ooops. I would feel bad, but Lucy's reaction to the kitchen set we got her was a little underwhelming, at best. She was most excited about her new dress and shoes, and had to put them on right away.

One day, it won't just be Scott and I up at 6:00am, giggling, waiting for Lucy to wake up too. If we do our job right, she will be waking us up! We loved our little bit of Christmas morning, with Lucy sitting on Scott's lap, eating her chocolate orange.

 

Halloween, a few months late

I know Christmas's cozy memory is just barely fading, and Halloween, was like, four holidays ago, but sometimes that happens with my personal film. The stuff comes back at the most inconvenient times. It may not be season appropriate, but it is my favorite holiday, so I'm throwing convention to the wind and posting it now. January is a bit dreary anyway, and could use some cheering up.

This was Lucy's first official trick or treating Halloween. We brought her home her on 10.31.09 and I'm not quite crazy enough to take a 4 day old out trick or treating. There is a funny story, however, about me nursing her in the front room, and persistent Trick or Treaters at the front door. Want to hear it? Actually, that's pretty much it. "Mom, I think someone is there, Mom can we wait a bit longer? I think they are just watching TV." And then last year it rained, dumping monsoon qualities of rain. So last year was a no go too.

This year though, this year was perfect. We got the whole neighborhood gang together, and quickly dominated the streets! Ok, just kidding. But we live in an older neighborhood, so it was fun to see so many little monsters, princesses, cavemen and bumble bees all dressed up together. The only sad part was the Lucy tuckered out way before I was ready. Did I mention I love Halloween? I was the kid who would stay out until neighbors started unloaded all of their candy. My dad would drop off sibling after sibling, and we would stay out as long as my little heart and legs would last.

Lucy doesn't quite get the concept. There is nothing more awesome then dressing up and then people giving you candy, just because you showed up at their door. It's amazing.

Happy, belated, belated Halloween!

the road we travel

Photo by Yan Photography

I'm a day late on the whole resolution thing, but that is okay, considering that this year I want my resolutions to be about the journey, not the destination. Most of the time I resolve to lose 5 pounds, or 15. Not so for 2012.

In 2012 I vow to embrace the journey, for all it's up and downs, it's obstacles and triumphs.

I vow to live more in the present. To relish the time Lucy, Scott and I spend together, and not to spend it thinking about some future task.

I vow to accept that fear and uncertainty is a part of my life, but I won't let it rule my life.

I accept that I will have hard days, days where I don't get much done, days when I'm sad. 2012 is a year of change for me and I'm looking at it with eyes clear to the challenges it holds. I will have set-backs. I vow to let this shape me, but not define me.

I vow to accept that I can only do my best. Sometimes my best doesn't get me very far. But that doesn't mean that I'm not successful or worthwhile.

I vow to continue my journey of healthy living. For me, this means I don't lose a pound a week, or a pound a month sometimes. But if I'm eating right and exercising, I'm moving forward.

I vow to accept that this journey wasn't the one I thought I would have. I will not compare myself to others, and think myself less, because I have not gone where they have gone. My journey is unique to me.

I vow to see the beauty and not the ugliness, to add to that beauty with my words, thoughts and actions.

I vow to accept myself, all 5'4".

I vow to love with an open heart, and be quick to forgive. To let go of hurt more easily, and to withhold judgement.

2012, I vow to embrace you, with all my heart. Bring it, 2012. I'm as ready for you as I will ever be.

"When someones makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision. "The Alchemist" by Paul Coelho

The Evolution of Domesticity

I'm not a crafty person. And for a really long time, I shied away from any preconceived notions I had about my "roles" in life. Between school, work, work, work, and more school, Scott and I had a fairly established routine of frozen pizza and Barilla pasta sauce. It served us well. And in a lot of ways, in our early married life, I still felt like my mom was the one who cooked the turkey and sewed the buttons on, and I was still the kid. And then I changed. First, after 9 years of marriage we bought a house. And then we got a dog. And then we got Lucy. And somewhere in the midst of all this, my latent nesting instincts kicked in. Scott and I started cooking more (I took a bread class, Scott gave me a Mandoline), we bought trees, and remembered to water them, we remodeled, and painted, and cleaned the inside of the microwave (but not the oven.) I had an epiphany when I decided to make Salt Playdough for Lucy. As I was rolling it out, I remembered the warm dough that my mom would make for me. And here I was doing it for Lucy. I was a mom/wife/woman doing mom/wife/woman things, and it felt really good. Not forced on me, but something I chose and loved. I should mention that Scott and I are an awesome team. I'm lucky that we are in this together, because he is better at making the pizza dough and waffles.

Around the time we bought our house, I started doing Christmas Cards. It was surprisingly fun. I loved giving and receiving cards. And, building on Christmas traditions, this year I decided to make neighbor gifts. I guess that is silly, but for me, it was kind of a big deal. I maybe still haven't cooked my own turkey or sewn on a button, but I was going make hot chocolate on a stick this year! I was going to be neighborly! It would be epic! Last March I discovered this company's hotchocspoon, and bookmarked it for inspiration. So, here are my attempts and lessons learned on how to make these, in case you are so inclined. It was really fun, really messy with a lot more chocolate needed than anticipated.

I did a bit of research when trying to find my own recipe and used this one from givers log, which worked perfectly. Basically you need,

8 oz of good chocolate 1/4 cup of unsweetened cocoa powder 1/2 cup of powdered sugar a pinch of salt

and then just follow Amber Lee's instructions. She is a chocolate guru.

I made peppermint chocolate sticks and Mexican chocolate sticks. For the peppermint I added crushed candy cane (it works best to put it in the middle of the chocolate, with a bit sprinkled on the top. For the Mexican I added cinnamon and chili powder. Next time I will add more of the flavorings. It was a bit too subtle for my taste.

Helpful things I learned,

One bar of 12 oz bar of chocolate, makes about 10 cubes of chocolate. It's better to fill the chocolate up all the way in the mold. Don't ever, ever get water in your chocolate. It's like the most evil thing to do to chocolate. Don't use chocolate chips. They don't melt quickly. Use more flavoring then you think you need. Don't use extracts. Plastic bags don't work that good. I used this pancake pen that we happened to have. I don't know how to temper chocolate, and I got the mysterious, ugly fat bloom on my beautiful chocolate, which made me sad. If I can't figure out the tempering thing, next time I will just dip the set-up spoons in melted chocolate chips or Cocoa Candy Melts, and then roll in the candy cane/cinnamon/cardamon/curry or whatever combo I come up with. One cup of hot milk or cream, works perfectly with the chocolate. And if I'm going to be picky, I wish I made my tags larger, preferably 3X3.

As far as supplies, I made the tags myself, and had them printed off at Kinkos. I found the perfect size silicone ice cube trays at Amazon here, and it makes 32 at time (so I tripled the recipe each time.) The wooden spoons were purchased at Garnish.

Lucy helping deliver our gifts.

And here is Lucy helping me and enjoying the fruits of our labors. This is her new "picture" face.

a Christmas Memory

I used to work at a little photo studio. Six years ago was my first Christmas there, and the simple thing to say is, it was a hard year. The studio was small, and the owners, studio manager, and other photographer all were gone over Christmas. Which meant it was just me handling the photography end of the things. To make a common story even shorter, I was working 70+ hour weeks, and was often staying until 11PM or midnight. Sometimes later. I was tired, and stressed, and felt diminished in every way. We hadn't even put up a tree or any decorations, and had just hit our year mark of trying to have a baby (little did we know how long that journey would end up being.) Honestly, I just wished Christmas would be over. I didn't have much time off, but on the 23rd I carved out a little bit of space so Scott and I could get away for the evening. I meant to leave work around noon, but with one thing and another didn't get away until 3. And all I wanted to do was get away, far, far away. So we took a drive, to a little restaurant, that was 90 minutes away, up in Logan. If you haven't ever been to Logan, it's a beautiful little college town, tucked away in a valley. We love it for one of our favorites restaurants, Le Nonne, which always makes it worth the drive. Dinner was wonderful, and we ate lots of homemade pasta, and talked, and talked and I maybe answered my phone a few times, fielding problems the best I could. Afterwards, as we were walking to our car, a fresh snow was gently falling. It was freezing, which was no surprise, but the Christmas lights were on, and the town's main street was lit up. I dragged Scott the block it took to get to lights, and as we looked up, the Marquee on the old Utah Theater showed they were playing, "White Christmas" in 5 minutes. This was before Lucy, in more spontaneous times. And so we went in. And sat in the cold, drafty balcony, with about 20 other people. As I held Scott's hand, and listened to Bing Crosby sing, and watched Vera-Ellen dance, I fell in love all over again. In love with Christmas, and life, and Scott. I was utterly happy in that darkened theater. We didn't get home until after midnight, but it didn't matter. I was reminded that although life can be sad and hard and stressful, but there are beautiful moments of happiness in between. That Christmas is much more than just deadlines, and shipping lines, and printers that break down. I'm so grateful for that little moment, that really wasn't all that much, but meant so much to me.

Merry Christmas!

And the angles said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the Babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

-Luke, 2:10-14

Christmas Pretty

Here's a glimpse of some of my favorite decorations. I love our simple, little tree, and hate to see the day that we get a perfectly beautiful artificial one. One of my favorite things Scott and I do is buy a Christmas book each year. We didn't used to be super official about it, but now we give one to Lucy every year. We write a little note in it for her, so when she is older she can look back and maybe relive a bit of these early Christmas's, that she wont remember, but we always will. The Smokers are gifted from Bruce and Lynette and we feel so fancy when we set them out each year. I feel like I'm getting in touch with my German roots. I didn't take pictures of our socks, but they hang from the window. Isn't that where they are supposed to go?

 

Dear Lucy

Last night, after I put you down to sleep, you laid in your crib talking to yourself. These are some of my favorite conversations you have. You read stories to your babies, and talk about your day, "Lucy a good girl, Lucy nice, Ollie good boy, Lucy bye, bye, Lucy bath". I was listening to your babble, when all of a sudden I heard,

"Lindsey! Scott! I'm not sleepy!"

And I just died, I was laughing so hard. You kill me, with your quirky mind and happy spirit. I love that you say, "Let's do it!" whenever you want to go somewhere, and that you skip, swinging your arms, every time you walk. I think it's impossible for you not to bounce, skip or dance as you move from room to room. You request dance parties daily, and you have a sweet move that involves swinging your arms side to side and bouncing to the music.

You still hit and push, which, honestly, really frustrates me. It is times like these I have to remind myself to be patient, because you are frustrated, and tired and it is probably hard to be two. After a recent time-out, I asked you if you hit Daddy, and you told me, "Lucy push, 123, time-out, Sorry Daddy!" I can see your struggles as you go from mad, to sad, to sorry. Sometimes I just want to laugh as you feign nonchalance in the time-out chair (oh, look at this tag, and the floor and the wall.) And sometimes I worry about what kind of teenager you will be, but I also know you will be able to hold your own as you navigate the scary territory of high school, and for that, I'm grateful for your feisty spirit.

Every morning when you wake up, you look at the tree and say, "Ohhh, pretty!" And you like to say, "It's delicious!" or, "Oh, it's gorgeous!" about things you like.

You don't like hot chocolate, or really luke-warm chocolate. After a cold night we went out for some, and when I went to move your glass, you claimed it, "Mine Mommy!"  And then, quickly spit it out all over your clothes, saying, "Here you go Mommy!" and gave me your cup. Right now you're existing on 5 clementines a day, and will eat little else. I would worry, but you I have learned that no matter how many different food items I try to give you, I can't make you eat anything. Eating is our big challenge, but your belly still sticks out nice and proud, and you continue to gain weight, so I will not freak out that you absolutely refuse to eat meat.

If I ever try to rest my eyes when watching a movie, you turn to me and say, "You tired Mommy?! No sleepy!" and demand that I cuddle you instead. Ollie is still your best buddy and you call him "cute, sad, happy" or tell him he is a, "good boy," as your mood fits. You consistently feed him your chocolate from the advent calendar, on the sly, and then demand he gives it back.

You make me laugh a million times a day. Your complete joy in life gives me a wonderful perspective on just how amazing it all really is. I love you Stinky Pants!

oh, the weather outside is frightful

I love winter approximately 5 days a year. This was one of them.

Since today is grey, and cold, with a side of inversion, it's nice to look back and remember winter can be pretty. Too bad this was a couple of weeks ago, and we haven't had any snow since. Winter, we are all ready for you. Lucy has a new hat and gloves, and we want to get out and play. Snow, please come back and make it feel like Christmas, and I promise, I wont complain until March.