personal

Oh Christmas Tree

Every year we pick out a fresh tree. Scott has been trying to convince me for the last 11 years to buy fake, but to no avail. I agree the set-up, maintenance and take-down is much easier, but there is something about loading up the kids (kid in our case) and driving out and picking a Real Live Christmas Tree! Sure, it isn't as cool as actually going to the woods and finding on yourself, but we are a bit of City folks too. Scott and I have a very intense selection process. It needs to be only so high and wide (mini baby house,) look a bit like a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree, with lots of spaces and gaps, but also be perfectly symmetrical (no weird flat sides.) And we always have the bottom freshly cut off. One year we didn't do that, and it didn't work out so well.

I love our tree, and every morning when Lucy wakes up, she goes in and says, "Ohhhh, pretty!" I have always loved Christmas, but I love it a gazillion, billion times more with Lucy.

 

Thankful

Sometimes I forget to be thankful. It's easy to get caught up in worries and cares, that more often than not, I tend to focus on what I want, and not what I have. But Thanksgiving is a quiet little holiday, the calm between Halloween and Christmas, where I can spend time with family and re-focus on all the many joys and blessings in my life. So, here are a few things I'm thankful for this year,

-My daughter, Lucy, who stretches me in every way possible, but mainly in the growing and loving way. -Scott, who supports me, loves me, and listens to me list ways we can survive a Zombie Apocalypse (curse you Walking Dead.) -Our house, whose littleness often drives my crazy, but it is also the place where we brought Oliver home and then Lucy. Little mini-house, you are filled with memories. -Fresh produce and home cooked meals -Family and awesome friends, who are like family -Fresh starts -Books -A beautiful park across the street -Film and Polaroid cameras -Jobs that provide a place to call home -Bike rides -Summers -Mountains and campfires and S'mores -Modern medicine, and the many miracles it makes possible -Margherita pizzas -Oliver, our first baby -Space heaters, wool socks, and warm blankets to help me survive winter -Christmas lights -Inspiration, in all its many forms -Road trips -Warm baths -The Gospel in my life -And all the many wonderful people that come into my life each year, through this crazy thing I call a job.

I'm thankful for all these things and so many more. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

The Patch and The Village | Halloween Fun

Sometimes you plan something really fun to do, like going to pick out pumpkins, or going to see the witches at Gardner Village, and it, surprisingly, doesn't seem so fun to a certain feisty toddler. Both of these adventures started off rough. Lucy didn't want to look at pumpkins or go near the pumpkins. She didn't want to look at the witches, or go near the witches, or walk, or be held, or be in her stroller. And she definitely didn't want anyone else to even go near her stroller. This always takes me by surprise, although it shouldn't.

"Why don't you love this super fun thing I have planned," I want to cry. But then, magically, something catches her attention. Like pushing the wheel barrow, or getting candy (hey, whatever it takes.) And then it's the best adventure ever. I think I imagined parenthood as one never-ending play date. We would watch movies, and I would make cookies, and she would love going to the store with me. Yeah, it didn't really work out that way. Scott and I have yet to successfully take Lucy to an actual movie theater, I don't make cookies, and easily going to the store? Forgetaboutit. And I guess that is okay.  One of the many things I'm learning being a mom is that things don't always go as planned, and sometimes a lot of patience is required. But even if it doesn't all turn out perfect, I'm learning that's okay. Scratch that, even more than okay. Because as a family, we are enjoying the ride, even the bit bumpy parts.

the long and weary road of a two-year-old.

oh, and these were two different days, although she is dressed exactly the same. Mama tends to put Lucy in same outfit, multiple days.

Lucy turns 2 | Halloween Birthday Party

Lucy turned two! And we celebrated with costumes, doughnuts, games and candy. We had so much fun! About a month before the big day, I turned to Scott and said something along the lines of, "I want to keep it simple this year." And Scott just laughed. He was right, of course. We maybe didn't make a ginormous pinata but we did want a fun area for all the kids. So we created pumpkin bowling, and pumpkin decorating, and filled balloons with candy, and strung them across the patio. The candy filled balloons were a hit and a behind the scenes disaster. We got it all ready the night before, but somehow in the process of stringing them up, they kept deflating, and the strings got all twisted, and we were stuffing candy and blowing up balloons, right to the very last minute. But the funniest thing was that they kept popping all during the party because it was such a hot day. It was like, "Free Meal!" at Cafe Rio, except the kids yelled, "CANDY!" and dived in. There were a few balloons left to pop at the very end, and the popping of the balloons was the hit of the party.

But the best part was seeing Lucy so happy and surrounded by all those who love her. We feel grateful that Lucy is growing up with cousins and aunts and uncles and grandma's and grandpa's and friends, who make her feel so special.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl! You aren't really my baby anymore, but I'm going to keep calling you that for just a little while longer.

And last year, because it is fun to remember...

Lucy's 1st B-day photos taken by my good friend, Kim Orlandini.

Garden of the Gods + Manitou Springs | Colorado Springs

There are times as a mom you know you might have taken on too much, but you still do it anyway. This was one of those days. Garden of the Gods, is an amazingly beautiful red rock garden, just at the footsteps of where Taryn lives. And we decided to take all 4 kids, all under the age of 5, on a walking tour. This, in itself was no big deal. Taryn had Harper strapped in her carrier, and Cooper, the 5 year-old, is a good walker, but our fatal mistake came when not anticipating the length of the walk, and the need to bring the strollers. Why didn't we bring the strollers? I will never know. The entire thing was paved, just waiting for strollers, and happy toddlers. But we didn't, and about one mile into it, both Lucy and Liam were done. Unfortunately for us, we were slightly lost and a long way from our car. Was it a mile? 5? or only a 1/2 mile? It felt like forever. Liam, fortunately was content to be held. Unfortunately that meant Taryn had a newborn strapped on her chest, and a solid 3 year old hanging off her back. Lucy, meanwhile, was in the stage where she did NOT want to be held and did NOT want to walk. She preferred to lay on the ground and whimper. So, I did what the situation called for, and picked her up, kicking and screaming, and force carried her back to the car, asking strangers along the way how to connect to the main path. It all seemed very desperate.

After monumental effort, we eventually found our car, and all being right in the world again (kids safely strapped in!) we decided to be gluttons for punishment, and head over to Manitou Springs, and get some ice cream. Sweet Cooper, when told the plan, quietly said, "more walking?" Ahh, the unfairness of being the oldest. Cooper, I feel your pain (oldest of 6). Manitou ended up being a cute little resort town, right at the base of the mountains. It was charming and winning, and had several ice cream stores to tempt us. Lucy slept through the whole thing as did Harper. It was a long, but really fun day.

And look, I documented it all! Thank you Taryn for being patient with me as I stole a few pictures, amongst the melt downs.

 

The anatomy of a melt-down. First, refusing to walk. 2nd refusing to be held. 3rd complete and utter despair, with an inability to function.

I learned a valuable parenting skill near this street vendor. I had one dollar, and I gave it to Liam to give to the guy (or was it Cooper?) and subsequently broke the heart of the other little guy, leading to tears and a fight. Always, ALWAYS have two dollars, or two quarters or two nickels, or two something, when you have two kids.

Colorado Springs Visit | Cheyenne Mountain Zoo

Here's another little adventure from Lucy and my trip to Colorado. Normally, I'm not a huge zoo person (the animals always seem sad to me) but I have to give huge props to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo. It was the best Zoo experience I have ever had. Ever. Lucy ran around the whole time, screaming, "Animals! Animals! Animals!" I think what was so impressive was the large enclosures and hands-on exhibits. We fed Giraffe's and "midgies" and hopped along with Wallabies. Giraffe's are one of my favorite animals, and it was unreal to feed and touch them. Lucy had absolutely no fear, as the big, black, tongue came towards her. We had little adventures everywhere we went. We saw a baby Orangatun kissing it's mama, Gorillas in the midst of turf battles (Mr. B. Gorilla threw all the food he had carefully been collecting to Mr. A.Gorilla, running quickly away,) a tiger roaming right near the fence, a rogue deer in the trees. Lucy was in awe.

But the bear enclosure was the most exciting. We could hear loud growls from quite a distance, and when we got close, two brother bears were wrestling in the water. I should say that I'm actually very afraid of bears (Have you read, "Night of the Grizzlies?) Once, on a hike, Scott and I ran across a mother grizzly and her cub and I thought I was going to die right then, but they were more interested in their huckleberries. Seeing these two brothers up close, and not being worried about being mauled, was amazing. While I was fascinated with the playful brothers, Lucy was more excited about the "fishies" swimming in their lake!

One thing I didn't get a picture of was Lucy on the Merry-Go-Round. Up until now, she hasn't been a fan, but when she saw it, she came a-running, pushing other kids out of the way. When it was finally our turn, she screamed, laughed and cried all at once. It's such a treasure to experience life with Lucy. She gives me an appreciation for how fun and simple life can be.

Can you see her sweet reflection in the window?

two | a love letter to my daughter

Oh, Lucy, it's cliche but true, time really does fly. I was going through all our old pictures, laughing and crying at the same time. Remembering how you used to hold your head up, so proud, rolling over, Oliver's first, but definitely not last, lick of your face. Your first hair cut (you had so much hair!) I can't believe this tiny, tiny baby with jet black hair, has grown into you, a light-haired beauty, with hazel brown eyes, and wickedly infectious smile. One day I will tell you about how long we yearned and wished for you. Years past before you made your arrival, and that single moment has set our lives onto an entirely new, infinitely superior, utterly exhausting path. We are your parents, and I'm your mother, the single definition of me that I hold closest to my heart. However, you are Lucy, your very own person, as you proudly tell people, "I Lucy." You wake-up every day, with an enthusiasm that is tangible, and I just do my best to keep up with you. Your greatest joy is to play, and I hope you never tire of playing with me. You hold my face in your hands, and tell me, "I love you much, mom." You hear Scott's car in the driveway, and run to the door shouting, "Daddy! Daddy!" You take my hand and say, "c'mon." And what else can I do, but let you guide me into your adventures.

Sometimes I miss so much your quiet little self, sleeping soundly on my chest, nestling into me and later, your incoherent babbling that woke me up every morning. But it's hard to miss yesterday, when tomorrow beckons so brightly. I cherish you more than I could ever adequately express. Thank you for being my daughter. I love you, baby girl (stinky monster.)

Photo by Allison Cox

 

Photos by Kim Orlandini

 Photos by Kim Orlandini

Photos by Kim Orlandini

 Photo by Yan

Photo on left by Kim Orlandini

 

Lazy Saturday

About a month ago Lucy and I went out to Colorado Springs to visit my sister's family, and to spend time with our brand new niece, Harper. Lucy was in heaven. This is the closest she has ever been to a baby, and she was a little obsessed (read, want to touch all the time.) We crammed a lot of fun into two days, but maybe my favorite thing we did was the lazy Saturday. The kind where you stay in your pajamas, eat pancakes, and have a dance party.

We sure miss everyone, but were grateful for the short little visit, and Lucy now calls all babies now, "Hawper." Oh, and for the record, my 3200 speed film went just fine through the airport scanner. Whew! Now, I know.

Dear Lucy

Yesterday we went out to eat, and you did this little thing called climbing into a cupboard and hiding. I didn't realize the whole restaurant was watching you, until I heard the laughter. I started laughing too. You took your little body, contortioned it to squeeze into an empty cupboard, and then your little hand closed the door on yourself. The owner even came over to say hi, but then you got scared, and ran to dad. It's true what they say about the terrible two's, there can be some hard moments, but no one told me it is so much fun too.

Speaking of hard moments, we do lots of time-out's these days. It has to do with some of your favorite phrases, "Be nice! Stop it! Let go!" I pretty much know where you get these from (me). And you hit and push, which I don't know where you get it from, but it makes me sad. And so we have a time-out, and I hate to say it, but I have hard time not laughing. It usually starts with a mom or dad stare and a warning, and you look everywhere but at us. Feigning nonchalance, as you pick up a toy, and look at the walls, or ground. You sit in the time-out chair like, "No big deal, I love it here!" And the whole time I want to laugh, but don't, or I will lose whatever measure of authority I still represent. And then, fairly quickly, you say, "Sohwry mommy." And we are done. You have a stubborn little spirit, which I secretly love, but I also love how sweet and loving you are.

"Sohwry," is your favorite phrase. If I trip, or drop something, you always go, "Oops! Sohwry." Even though we explain, you didn't do anything.

You are still obsessed with dogs, so much so, that little dogs run away when you come running over. Ollie is very patient as you climb on his back, and try to get him to play, "ashes" with you. Speaking of ashes, you could play that all day long, or "under" where we hid under the covers. You don't walk anywhere, you skip. When you color, you use all the colors of the rainbow, and fill the page.

You are a bit of pack-rat, and now need to go everywhere with 3 blankets, your baby, and your milk. If you get a drop of water on your clothes, or a bit dirty, you immediately start ripping them off (like at the restaurant last night). But you hate wearing bibs, so it can get a bit tricky. And you love your bath's, and your "dragon" towel. Our bath-time routine ends with me asking where my dragon is, and wrapping you up nice and tight.

I love you baby girl, more than I ever thought possible. Thank you for making every day a surprise, and giving me the greatest gift, of being your mother.

I made mommy!

Lucy is very serious about her coloring. She loves her "colors" and will color on the table, oven, floor, etc., if paper is not quickly provided. I love hearing her say with all the joy and excitement of a two-year-old, "I made Mommy! I made Daddy! I made Ollie!"

Coloring, just a simple pleasure of childhood. And adulthood.