Lucy has been the center of our world for three full years and it has been a bit strange this past year to think of that changing. Exciting, but slightly surreal. These past 9 months I wanted to try and prepare her as much as possible for Jack's arrival. We talked about Jack, and how he is in my tummy, "big like Daddy's!" and how she was going to be such a good big sister and he was going to be her baby brother. She was very interested in it all, until we bought clothes for Jack, or brought out the old baby stuff for Jack, then Lucy would say, "I'm just a little bit nervous." A few days before he came, Lucy said she wanted him to stay in my tummy forever. When she found his gift to her in my hospital bag (the little snoop) she burst into tears when I laughed. All of sudden all of our world's were going to change. Were we ready for late nights, and late feedings, and poopy diapers again? Was Lucy ready to be a big sister? And then Jack came, and our hearts opened up a million times over.
But I still was nervous for that first moment when Lucy would meet him. During delivery I told the nurses I couldn't wait for her to meet him, and we could all be a family. Then she came bounding through the labor and delivery doors, complete with pink and blue balloons, and...stopped dead in her tracks. She went straight to Scott and wouldn't look at me or Jack. When she was put on the bed, she asked to get off. The next day she visited and the same thing. She set up her dolls, and her snacks, and her movies on the little hospital couch, and angled away from whoever had Jack. She didn't go near him. When Scott came home to check on things, she cried for her Mommy and told Daddy not to leave.
It's hard watching your oldest struggle with something they don't really understand. Her whole world had just changed. But when we got home, and hugged her and loved her, Lucy asked to hold Jack (and she hasn't stopped since then.) She runs to get the "hansanitzer" and asks so sweetly, "can I touch him?" She is my constant buddy, and asks, "where is Baby Jack," and," is my baby brother sleeping?" She tells us, "I'm the big sister!" and "I just love my baby brother."
I think Jack is the greatest gift we could ultimately give her. A sibling to share secrets with and fight with and share with and grow with. It's been amazing to watch her bond and love him. And I think she loves him a lot, except for that time we did a photo shoot in Jack's room and moved things around. Miss Lucy Pants, immediately put her hands on her hips, started moving things back, and told us, "don't you move my stuff around Dad! or I'll get naughty to you!" Yeah, that sounds about right. Sharing might be an issue.